Neurodivergent Families are Welcome
I seem drawn to being friends with and taking photos of families that are neurodivergent. Why? Because that is my everyday life, and it has been for as long as I can remember. My brother was diagnosed with Asperger’s (back when they called high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder that) about a decade ago. That explained a whole lot of our childhood and the challenges that he encountered then and does today.
To those of you who don’t know me, my name is Stacey Feasel and I am a family and newborn photographer in the greater Seattle area, serving Bothell, Redmond, Kirkland and more. I grew up with an Autistic brother, and then realized that my daughter was following in his footsteps.
When my eldest was about two years old, she stopped wanting to wear clothing. Anything scratchy, with frills or harsh seams was a no go. Clothing challenges have been a challenge ever since for us. After years of Occupational Therapy to try and help her sensitivity diminish, the therapist finally looked at me and said, “This is just who she is, and that is okay.”
Talk about being humbled. The challenges that parents of children who are highly sensitive, differently wired, and/or high energy are real. There is a grief process of knowing your child will never be “normal” and then a rediscovery of their own specific beauty and strengths. Letting go of what we want for them and instead turning into bumpers like on the bowling lanes so they don’t end up in the gutter while they navigate their own unique path is painful and emotional. I am still on this journey, but getting better each day.
My daughter has been through two different rounds of Occupational Therapy, still sees a counselor for emotional regulation and has restraint collapse at home after crazy stressful days at school. I am learning to be there and buffer here. Her “alphabet soup” of a diagnosis is ADHD, SPD and likely ASD. Why do I tell you this? Just so you know that I am there with you in these deep, turbulent waters.
I can also share that my daughter is amazingly creative! She is the best 10 year old writer I have ever seen. I swear her little stories could be published! I am proud of her. I cherish her, even through my tears. She challenges me every single day to be a better person.
Why on earth do I share this with the whole wide world? I want you to know that at my photo sessions, you are safe to be you. Your child is safe to be them. To talk non-stop about one topic that I don’t know anything about (yet). I want them to share their visual ideas on how to frame up a photo. They can run and get their energy out- I will run after them. If they get triggered, I will patiently wait and be supportive. (My daughter has been triggered at nearly every family photo session we have had).
You are in a safe space with me. I don’t judge. I want to come alongside you and support your family. I have families that work with me again and again, and each time I am able to know more precisely what their family needs to have a great family photo session. Trust me to meet the needs of your neurodivergent family for a family photo session. We will capture who your kids are, the real them- not the fake them. I see you and your struggles as an ND parent and I want you to feel like you too can get family photos without ending up in tears. I can help you with that.
Are you a photographer wanting to learn more about working with neurodivergent families? Great! I have some amazing resources for you and I would be excited to share them with you. Go check out my “For Photographers” page to get some resources that will change how you work with families and improve your photo session experience both for you and the families you are serving.
