Neurodivergent Families: Preparing Outfits for a Family Photo Session
Family photo sessions can be exciting! However, if you have a neurodivergent child, they can also be overwhelming for neurodivergent (ND) children. Preparing outfits for the family photos may be the most challenging part of all. The dreaded question of “What should we wear for photos?” might emotionally cripple some parents. Sensory issues, anxiety, and the need for comfort can all make outfit selection a challenge. Don’t worry! You can absolutely do this! Let me share some ways you can make choosing what to wear for your family photos do-able, even with your amazing, neurodivergent kiddo. Who knew that outfit selection can be a positive experience for everyone involved!?
(Embrace the chaos!)
The most important thing when choosing outfits for your family’s upcoming photo session is that your ND child is comfortable! This means allowing them to have control over what they wear. I know, I know… that is NOT what you wanted me to tell you, but we both know I am right. Believe me… I had to give up on wanting my eldest to wear certain clothing. She is who she is, and I need to love her and what she wears and accept it. So, you are not alone! We have to grieve the loss of control as parents in this sort of situation.
For children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), the experience of wearing certain fabrics, textures, or even tags can be uncomfortable and distressing. I figure I am stating the obvious here, but I still feel it needs to be said. Look for tag-free clothing or clothing you can easily remove the tags from.
Does your ND kiddo like to be in control of things? Mine does! She is so much more onboard with things that are pseudo problematic if she has a say in what they look like. So, offer your ND child three options to choose from and let them pick their preferred outfit. Want to get they buy in even more? Take cell phone photos of the child in the outfit and show them how amazing they look. Praise them! This can help build their confidence and encourage them to wear the outfit again, which is our goal!
Transitions to new clothing can be super challenging for ND kids too… What I recommend is you purchase a selection of potential outfits at least a month ahead of the session. This gives your ND child time to try it on, leave it on, and see if they feel comfortable in it. (Keep the tags on till they are okay with it.
Please, it is so important not to force your child into anything they are uncomfortable with. We really, really want to just be “normal” sometimes and have them wear form-fitting clothing and frills, or jeans even… heck socks that aren’t turned inside-out so that the seams aren’t on their tones might be nice, right? But your family photos are an investment, and don’t you want to honor who your child is? It has taken me years to get to that point… but it is important. Honor their needs over yours once more.
On that note… there is a really good chance that on the day of the photo session, your ND kiddo may change their mind at the last minute due to anxiety, and it is important to prepare for that. Steel yourself… don’t bribe them in those last desperate minutes to just wear the outfit you planned on. Like Elsa, just let it go.
Okay, so like most things, the needs of your ND child are going to dictate what happens to the rest of the family. My advice is to build the family outfits around the ND child's outfit and favor neutrals, in case the child changes their mind at the last minute. This will ensure that the overall look of the family is coordinated no matter what happens the day of the session.
Mom, treat yourself to a good neutral or toned-down colored outfit that will make you feel pretty, okay? We often feel overwhelmed by the emotional needs of our kids and dress in a way that reflects that. What will make you feel powerful? A dress? A sweater and a hot pair of jeans? I am telling you that you are worth one splurge on an outfit. Caveat to that… make sure it is machine-washable in case it gets dirty at the photo session. Oh, and wear comfy shoes! No high heels… no need to twist an ankle while chasing your kid.
What should Dad wear? Something he can move easily in and not overheat in. Don’t stress him out about outfit selection… he likely doesn’t care nearly as much as you do! If you go back and forth on the choices for him, Dad will be done with the photos before they even start. Just pick something and ask if he’d wear- chances are he will be fine with it.
Preparing outfits for a family photoshoot when you have a neurodivergent child can be challenging, but hopefully with these tips, you feel a bit more ready for the challenge. Have patience and grace for everyone involved. Remember to prioritize the ND child's comfort, give them control over their outfit choice, and be prepared for last-minute changes. You’ve got this!
Photographers- are you ready to learn more about how to support Neurodivergent families at your photo sessions? Great! Check out my “For Photographers” page (click below) to get some free resources!
(Please note that I am not implying that the pictured family is neurodivergent)